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Dating & Love Research
Finding a Good Partner
 

You may often hear people complaining about how they just can't seem to find a good man or woman, or more commonly, how all the good ones are already taken. What happened to all the good people of the world? Well, the truth is: nothing. They are still out there, and most of them are still looking for a good partner to share themselves and their life with. It is important to realize that when it comes to dating and relationships, many of the best available and interesting people are in a continual state of flux, changing and improving themselves in order to be more successful, to attract the "right" partner, to make more money, and to be all that they can be. And it's even more important to realize, that what both men and women need, is a supportive partner who loves them deeply for everything they are, everything they are not - someone who will support their endeavors for self-improvement while inspiring them for continual growth and success.

These qualities in a person - drive, ambition, and inspiration - are arguably more important to look for than an already established social and economic status. This is not to say that you should lower your standards and seek out everyone and anyone regardless of stability; but it is to say that when it comes to finding the "right" person for you, innate qualities are more important than external gains. It is most beneficial for anyone to open their mind, and their heart, to the possibility that their love of their life is just as liable to be in poppers' clothing as they are to sweep them off their feet and be bedazzled in riches.

This open-minded attitude will not only immediately provide a you with a near endless abundance of possible situations where you could meet "the one", but it will also prepare you emotionally for the process of truly falling in love, as you can only ever love as deeply as you are able to risk that vulnerability. And it's okay to be vulnerable to love. And it's okay to meet the person of your dreams in an off chance or rather inopportune moment. In fact, those star-crossed, awkward or unlikely encounters sometimes make for the very best of love stories.

Once you have then accidentally bumped into that special someone who has caught your interest, or there was at least sparks that deserve further investigation, communication becomes of key importance. We are long since past the age where it is socially unacceptable for a woman to state her desires, or be forthcoming with her preferences, or for the man to have to make the first move. In fact, many would say the opposite is true now - men prefer and respect a well-spoken, confident woman who knows what she wants, or at the very least, is open to fully exploring exactly what it is she thinks she may want. At the initial stages, there is no obligation for either person, and open exploration and communication will quickly tell whether to add more to the flame, or if the spark didn't catch after all.

Remember, people grow and change both independently, and through interpersonal interaction; and it is hardly inappropriate to "use" others as opportunities to learn, grow, share, teach, and love along the path of life when this is done with respect and kindness. Dating shouldn't be stressful or pressured, but a fun and mutually beneficial endeavor where both individuals are engaged in learning about each other, about themselves, and about how they feel when interacting with the world around them.

When a true connection is made, or found, it will be an obvious exchange and an ebb and flow of emotion and shared experience. There will be a give and take that tends to leave each person feeling as if they are receiving more than giving, and it will be clear that through interacting together, win-win situations seem to arise. If the relationship does seem to be one-sided, then it may be that the other person is not ready for a relationship, or that the "connection" felt is driven more by lust, than by the mutual appreciation, attraction, and understanding that is love.